Big Mac's handy guide To:
Use Your Will Endowed Overly Active Imagination To Create A Really Crappy Videogame/Diabetic Neural Radio Toaster/New Bible,
Based On The Interesting Political Views Of Penguins & Yodeling Camels That Live On New Jersey From Were They Save The Universe On A Daily Basis From An Evil Force Known As Deborah The Wrinckled, Lobotomized, Star Search Rejected, AOL Founder, Care Bear Creating Irish Canadian Sarcastic Mustard Seed While Using A Short Title That Makes Sense.
Step 1. Make A Fortune
Step 2. Forget Everything You Learned In School
Step 3. Sell Something Very Simple At A Very High Price
Step 4. Build an Emipire And Wait For Left Wing Militants To Destroy It
Step 5. Save A Lot Of Money On Car Insurance By Switching Over To Geicko
Step 6. Wear a Jewish Ceremonial Gown To Work On Casual Friday
Step 7. Take Over Treadstone
Step 8. Get A Bigger Boat
Step 9. Note That Nobody Really Gave A Crap About The Mushroom Kingdom, He Is A Plummer From Brooklyn So The Only Reason He Saved The Princess Was To Get Laid
Step 10. Get To Move On Up To The Upper East Side
Step 11. Leave The Gun, Take The Cannoli
Step 12. Remember Everything You Learned In School
Step 13. Numa Numa
Step 14. Fight For The Right Chickens Have To Cross The Road
Step 15. Support N.W.A.'s Views By Stating That Undoubtfully A Bitch Is A Bitch And That The Boys In The Hood Are Always Tough Trying As Hard As You Can Not To Quote Easy-E
Step 16. Find Out Who Let The Fucking Dogs Out
Step 17. Get Dance Lessons From Poncho
Step 18. Save Hyrule
Step 19. Prove To The World That It Really Is Butter
Step 20. Call It A Day
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Rendevouz with reality
Oh kids, it's time for another of uncle Bitchin's continuous rantings of self experience. This time however, we'll take a different approach at things. Let's talk about things that people believe in and why. Does it actually make them happy or do they do it because of the fear of not belonging anywhere. Now for this time, I would like to quote several ideas from either movies, books, or anything else that comes to mind.
Stand-up comedian Lewis Black once said "You put a guy in a closed room without any way to communicate, including another person, and ask him to come up with a religion, and that person will come up with Christianity".
Harsh words from a hard core comedian (read stuff about him, you can actually read him shouting), but there is a certain amount of reality in what he says nonetheless. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying religion is bad, I'm saying fanatism is bad. When someone (other than me that is) starts bitching about the way we live and how it affects our lives when we don't have enough prayer, that's when everything goes straight to the crapper.
When some man or woman starts beating their kids for making THE LORD unhappy, that's when Christianity proves itself uneffective. When some guy dressed like a ghost says "We in KLU KLUX KLAN are GOD FEARING men dedicated to make this a better world..." Darwin re-checks his evolution theory to see where did he went wrong.
And don't even get me started with the middle eastern fundamentalists. I respect any culture, but beating the last breath out of a woman because her face is showing, well that's just plain wrong. You see, religion would be such a bad idea if it weren't for the fact that it makes most people uneasy, it starts wars, or it makes people like me angry.
It's just the whole santicty of it all sickens me, more so since I'm in a place were people preach more than what the really mean or do and then they pose themselves around it and make out the fact that they're bigger and better.
AND IT'S NOT JUST THEM!!!! It's the christian conservatives and the middleastern fundamentalists and the inbred and ignorant and fearfull who are deeply convinced beyond a reason of a doubt that they are right, that god spoke to them and passed on the truth being that they are indeed the chosen ones amidst this dark and desolate place were nothing but corruption and filth seep through the people.
I strongly believe in 3 things, Mom, Karma, and MY OWN DAMN SELF!!! Why? Because its far more harder for those things to fail.
Now raise your hands if you saw Fight Club, remember when Brad Pitt's character said "We are promised lives of rockstars, and then we get crappy jobs, crappy apartments, and all in all, crappy personalities"...Ok, he said something like that but that was the main idea of it all. You know what you should do and what you shouldn't.
Pretending to follow a superior being or an invisible force unto satanazing free thinkers, homosexuality, the pursuit of science and truth and even alternate religions or belief systems....well that's just wrong and a dirty comunist lie.
BE GOOD (that means satisfying your needs as long as your not a jerk). Peace.
Stand-up comedian Lewis Black once said "You put a guy in a closed room without any way to communicate, including another person, and ask him to come up with a religion, and that person will come up with Christianity".
Harsh words from a hard core comedian (read stuff about him, you can actually read him shouting), but there is a certain amount of reality in what he says nonetheless. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying religion is bad, I'm saying fanatism is bad. When someone (other than me that is) starts bitching about the way we live and how it affects our lives when we don't have enough prayer, that's when everything goes straight to the crapper.
When some man or woman starts beating their kids for making THE LORD unhappy, that's when Christianity proves itself uneffective. When some guy dressed like a ghost says "We in KLU KLUX KLAN are GOD FEARING men dedicated to make this a better world..." Darwin re-checks his evolution theory to see where did he went wrong.
And don't even get me started with the middle eastern fundamentalists. I respect any culture, but beating the last breath out of a woman because her face is showing, well that's just plain wrong. You see, religion would be such a bad idea if it weren't for the fact that it makes most people uneasy, it starts wars, or it makes people like me angry.
It's just the whole santicty of it all sickens me, more so since I'm in a place were people preach more than what the really mean or do and then they pose themselves around it and make out the fact that they're bigger and better.
AND IT'S NOT JUST THEM!!!! It's the christian conservatives and the middleastern fundamentalists and the inbred and ignorant and fearfull who are deeply convinced beyond a reason of a doubt that they are right, that god spoke to them and passed on the truth being that they are indeed the chosen ones amidst this dark and desolate place were nothing but corruption and filth seep through the people.
I strongly believe in 3 things, Mom, Karma, and MY OWN DAMN SELF!!! Why? Because its far more harder for those things to fail.
Now raise your hands if you saw Fight Club, remember when Brad Pitt's character said "We are promised lives of rockstars, and then we get crappy jobs, crappy apartments, and all in all, crappy personalities"...Ok, he said something like that but that was the main idea of it all. You know what you should do and what you shouldn't.
Pretending to follow a superior being or an invisible force unto satanazing free thinkers, homosexuality, the pursuit of science and truth and even alternate religions or belief systems....well that's just wrong and a dirty comunist lie.
BE GOOD (that means satisfying your needs as long as your not a jerk). Peace.
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