Boris, they called him...He saw the whole picture.

Here's a kicker for you. I'm pissed off.

Weren't expecting that were you? Truth be told, I'm overreacting. This time, I'm overreacting, because things aren't that bad. They suck, but aren't thaaat bad. But in the sake of good writing and some me time I've given myself, I'm fucking pissed.

Why? You know why, the usual why. It's not fair, I'm surrounded by morons, life keeps fucking with me by fucking over the little guy to get to me and then gets to me by inducing painful nothing-to-do revelations in which I just sit and watch my surroundings crumble and die, making me have wishes of killing sprees with a hacksaw in a little town filled with the most repulsive people on earth.

But right now it's a different kind of "I'm pissed", first because I'm miles away from home and anything that remotely resembles home. I'm stuck amidst crazy creatures that see not beyond their own superficial layers of wretched morals, twisted and torn into believing they're righteous beings with righteous laws that oversee any and all other impulses, however small they may be.

I'm stuck amidst people afraid of homosexuality and rebellion, bent on obscuring data and truth from those they deem unworthy, unprepared and week, without realizing in the process who is truly week. But like I said, things aren't all that bad. They're obnoxious for the fact that they can't be changed.

I only remain as a watcher, a passive observer who does not anything at all to change the current circumstances. Because I could but the price to pay for that would be even greater than any other, and because, after all, I couldn't bring myself to crush the hearts and spirits of those around me...Which, at the same time, is pretty much the reason of why I'm here in the first place.

And after all this ranting I find it...I'm no happier than before or relieved like in past occasions. I feel heavy with duty and tired, again. Tired like time hasn't forgotten about me. As if my work never stopped, never gave me a free afternoon to meet with my guys or a day to get my shit together. I feel heavy worked and somewhat week myself.

I took the name of Boris, referencing one Boris Yelnikoff from my favorite director's last movie, Whatever Works, and I felt compelled by many things. While, truth be said, this movie in particular didn't moved me in a way that Deconstructing Harry moved me, it still taught me much things. Obviously the main point of not waiting for things to come down on you, but stand on your own to feet, making it work, whatever works. Get it?

Boris was pissed all the time at all things, much like me in a bad day, but the man had class, had stupor, had it all figured out, whereas I lack much training. It's been a rough week and I really deserve another vacation after this is settled. But, I'll do good with seeing my friends again and talking to them all, specially those whom I haven't seen in a while.

I'll settle for whatever works.