Wait for it...

I should be doing my homework...

But then what fun would it be TO RAVAGE, SLAY WHAT HATH CROSS MY PATH BE IT AN ELDERLY MAN, SOAKED IN THE JUICES OF KNOWLEDGE AND EXPERIENCE OR THE BRIGHTLY PURE AND LILY CLEAN FAIR MAIDEN, RIGHT IN THE RIPE OF THY LIFE, DESTROY THE LANDS AND BURN THE CROPS IN THE NAME OF BITCHIN!?!?!?!?!

Nonce.

So, without furthe ado...We begin.

Who the fuck I'm kiddin'? Days are starting to go slow and things are just getting complicated. It's what coming back to it all means, isn't it? The snow has cleared, the animals are out of their sleep, flowers and trees are starting to bloom and blosom and everyones bright eyed and bushy tailed.

Ain't nature a bitch, shoving it to our faces. Bullshit, it's back to work/back to school, the proving grounds and building blocks of our lives being defined and valued by the amount of stress that undergoes waking up in the mornings half hoping you could loose conciusness at will or magically be endowed with powers so destructive and dangerous like producing fiery-fucking-balls of doom or being able to fuck things up with your mind.

We could be waking up and finding out that there really is no mercy full god. Waking up to an alien invasion. Waking up to silky sheets, mid-day with a temperature below 30 minimum, or to the soft, loving taps of a light rain that mearly drizzles on your roof and windows. Turning on the news and hearing such wonderful things like there isn't any more poverty in the world, world hunger is a thing of the past, war has ceased and all the douche bags in the world have been impaled...starting with that fucking pussy from Percy Jackson and the Olympians.

OR AT LEAST HAVE THE FUCKING DECENSY TO WAKE UP AND NOT TASTE HATE ON YOUR MOUTH.

But no. There's famine, there's violence, there's economic recession and desperate measures. There's unprecedented natural disasters that hit unsuspecting feeble towns and the people trying to make up for it by broadcasting minute-by-minute coverage of the tragedy in an ultimate attempt to spread awareness, make the masses act out and unite in the name of peace and do whatever it takes to bring Haiti back to it's feet.

But in the making, they fail miserably, the only people interested are all around do-gooders, the dip shit celebrities that take their cue from Bono and corporate head masters bent on lobbying their way unto the pockets, wallets and pursues of the world.

We wake up in the morning to the world we deserve, this boisterous joyful little place that's beautiful underneath the heavy makeup that are hormonal cheap preteen wet dreams covered in glitter and sold everywhere from record stores to movie theater ticket booths, vainful magazine covers, one-dimensional empty promises of control and the pressure inducing realities we're all used to by now.

That is without including the people. The people alone could take billions of billions of countless of words to describe.

So you can say, quite clearly, that I've been having one hell of a week....RIGHT!?!

Up until today I've done a pretty good job containing my frustrations, attaining to the belief, the hard cold conviction that I have the choice to make of things a better situation, realizing only till now that I also believe in destiny and if destiny has it for this year to utterly suck, there's jack shit I can do about it. Safe to say, last days have sucked for one reason or another so I shouldn't hide it really, I should bask in it.

I've taken it as a mantra to say that some people just have it worse than me, and they do. Some people are really walking through shit storms. I've also realized, up until recently just now that, that doesn't really help either.

I'm pissed off and it's not just because of the things I haven't done or do but also because of the things that I don't have. Right now, something. Anything, just to get away. I think for a moment of those who'd want to escape, not just turn away like pussy-old me, but reaaaally run away from. Broken house holds, defective lives and dead-end-shit-filled existences. I feel bad for them because most will never run from it, because they can't. Others won't, because they don't know any better.

I'm tired now, I get tired easily this days. But I insist, because for what it matters, someone somewhere needs me, even though people loose track of that. People need me like I need them, that's why I usually say I hate society but I love people. For all the faith I loose in humanity, my faith in humans just keeps getting stronger.

Now, I'm gonna share to you this little secret.

Last night I dreamed of New York. I dreamed that I was there, twice. Twice in the same dream I traveled to New York. Shortly afterwards, I woke up and was overtaken by this deep sense of sadness. Just, really really sad and I couldn't tell exactly what had made me so miserable and didn't want to put all my money on dreaming the dream that hasn't happened, realizing in the process that what really upsets me are a bunch of things.

I haven't gotten over the fact that some time ago, 3 or 4 weeks, I got reunited with some of the people from my junior years. People I haven't seen in ages. It didn't go like I would've liked it to go. I was heavily disappointed and still moved on. Then there is school, then there is chance and fact, then there is temptation and promise and work and responsibility and then there's the ongoing wish to have powers of any kind.

I'm currently watching Heroes.

But that doesn't happen here. What happens here is that I become a silent winner, a dignified social aid of some sort without people getting hold of it and the awesomest little guy in the world of whom not many people have heard off. The bullshit comes and goes and sticks and rots, continuously. I try my best to fuck with the bullshit and horribly fuck someones mind.

I try.