# 13 With A Machete And Hordes Of Zombies

Check it out, my 13th post. I feel so proud...sniff.

You know. Sometimes I really wish there was a real life zombie outbreak like in the movies. Like Romero's movies though, I do kinda want to have the upper hand by being able to walk right by the goddamn things and not like in the 28 days later fashion were fuckers run and shit. Zombie outbreaks are a very weird, very interesting social study reference and psycological research combined with amazing quantities of blood, that's why I love them so much.

Bare this in consideration. In zombie movies, the main characters are generally portrayed as to being a prominent part of society, be it the wimp or the muscle builder, the nerdy or the idiot, the hot I-don't-give-a-fuck chick or the elderly woman fighting her last breaths, and of course, the stuborn asshole. All these means, rest assured, that their personalities will be in constant debate, trying to figure out what the hell to the next.

It's so great, I mean being in the middle of that conflict and accepting things as they are. Working the differences and moving on with life. Truth is, in many movies the director and/or writters decide to infer certain aspects of every day life. First of all, every single shred of power that was held by money, social class, religion, etc... is overruled. Fuck that, I want to live. In this situations, the leader is generally the ones with the brains or the balls. They can either get out of a situation using their intelligence or brute force (and perhaps some very gory suicide tendencies...like bolting towards a crowd of those things with a chainsaw).

Second, fuck the president. A homeless man who is crazy and missing a hand, feet, eye or all of the above (previous) has the exact same chance of survival than the pope, probably even more. If any man, ANY MAN, who ever worked as a body guard was stupid enough to go on protecting that same person when all hell has broken loose, that man not onloy deserves to die. He deserves to be entertainment (as in the guy in the movie who dies the most bloodiest way). Think about it. Regardless of your beliefs, no amount of prayer will drive the undead away. A good wack to the head will do the job.

Third, and probably the one you might get to the conclusion that I'm sick, but try to follow me on this one. Feminity, fuck it. Girls wanna live to. Let's make a brief test. On one hand, you got a regular type of woman (the fuck do I know what regular is), on the other hand, you have a woman who doesn't give a fuck. Who do you think will make it...

If you're answer was one of them, you got it wrong. Who will make it is impossible to tell. In this situations, any live, reasoning human being will surely know that in order to survive, it is mandatory to give in towards you're sadistic side. Fuck how it looks like, even if it's my daughter, zombies will be zombies and period. The first woman might realize that screaming for help, waiting for her prince to rescue her just won't cut it. She needs to become fearless, reach for the nearest weapon and start the head bashing. Again, both have equally chances of survival. Maybe the other one becomes reckless and fuck it up for her.

This is probably the most interesting fact for me. The female psyche is difficult to crack in vast proportions. A woman that understands this, to me, is quite a turn on. HOLD ON, let me make my point. Picture this, a once really preaty girl has now blood all over herself, ragged or shreded cloathes and is really really scared. That might seem as the perfect vissual for a horror scene and not quite sexy. Here's how I see it. Here's a woman, the "weak" sex, that has just beaten her biggest fears, gott a hold of the situation and kicked some mayor ass. Here is a confident woman who knows beyond the reason of a doubt the price and preciousness of living.

She now sees things in a hole new perspective. She could've died a gruesome death and to avoid it, she performed a gruesome murder. Femininity isn't about being sugar and spice, bullshit, is about a woman's spirit, a woman's greatness. Fuck her nails, she wants to live. A woman like that, is a woman for me.

Now do you see were do I come off telling you a zombie outbreak would be kinda cool. No gobernments, no religions, no wars. Just like John Lennon said. That's the price. Get it, that's the price for human peace, the ongoing threat to our lives. Here, it isn't money or power that matter, it's you life...Besides, all my friends would know what to do in case of an attack.

Mister Bitchin, hoping for a better world.

Ha, life short mates. Time is fast not to do what you want to do, and know that you can do. Peace my darlings, and remember, it's not over till it's over. That goes for you too.