A Paranoid Is The Person Who Has All The Answers

Police brutality, politicians lying, things getting fucked up.

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM US?

Whoever and whatever the fuck YOU are. I mean FUCK, can't I get a fucking break for every once in a while.

Fuck this, fuck anything. Yeah I bitch, but only here. In my everyday life I'm a self respected little cunt. Any day of the week, you choose, any fucking day of the week I'm a nice little easy going kinda guy who gives anything out. But what the fuck do I have to do to get ONE MISSERABLE FUCKING BREAK. I mean what. Do I fucking shout to people? Do I behave like a real bastard and spit, curse, break or shit on everything that I can?

What? Just what the fuck is needed? SHIT!!!! fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

FUCK IT. FUCK IT NOW AND FUCK IT FOREVER

Good guys finish last, I should now that by now. I should believe that by now. Just fuck it. Fuck it and be fucked by it...

Jesus...

I can't. Hell, I know sooner than later I might feel sorry for writting this and I know that my fucking luck is so wonderful and so peachy, I just now I'm gonna pay for this. I do the right thing and play by the book, I get the shit thrown at me. I do the wrong thing and send the book to go fuck itself, I get fucked. So what the hell, If I'm gonna get fucked, the least I could do is just bent my anger.

I just don't care anymore, I don't care what may come of this. The only thing I care about is it ending, one way or another. My fucking hippity hoppity adventure, my up and downs. Just fuck it. What will I get out of this. Knowing how to choose my friends. Fuck.

So, I don't give a fuck who reads this. If you know me or not, good. And if you do, well I was gonna crack sooner than later. Shouldn't be any fucking surprise. But didn't I said things were gonna be allright. Didn't I say that we would still be friends. I fought for such a long time. I fought the fucking truth for so long so not to hurt anyone. But what the fuck was I thinking. I was huting myself. I was killing myself. And then, just when I see my chance for redemtion, coming of clean, this happens. I become honest to my friend, I DO THE RIGHT FUCKING THING. And this happens, once again, just like before. No previous warning. Caught me right by surprise. And when it does, there's nothing to do. No one to call. No one to accuse or blame or even somenone to talk to. Just me and my writing. It won't be for long. Not for long.

You're never truly alone, there just is the feeling of being alone. But you're never alone. so fuck it. I might be wrong, nothing might have changed and by writing this I might be fucking things even more. But as I said before, the worst times I've been fucked were all due to me not listening to the fucking signals. The worst times came from me not following my gut feeling. The worst came from me, not being me. So fuck it, fuck what tomorrow might bring. I'm ready for it. There hardly is anything more hurtful. My parents and siter or one of my close friends dying perhaps. But hardly anything more than that.

So just fuck it. After all...

...

Just fuck it. What can I do, but wait.

And since my life is a joyfull oyster, there's a good chance you read this. I don't think you come to this page often, or perhaps you ever have. Doesn't matter, it would certainly fit with the past experiences. If you do, I'm sorry. But after a while, it just isn't fair. And I'm not angry at you.. I'm angry at the world. I'm angry at him. I'm angry at myself and I don't know if I did the right thing telling him. I don't know if I did the right thing trusting him. Maybe I should've told you first.

But that's not me.

Remember, The Day Anyone Doesn't See me Smiling, That'll be the Day It Get's Cold in Hell. And I'm still in love with the fucking world, 'cause you still have that look. Thanks.