Under the Dim and Flickering Fluorescent Lighting

Reading helps.

Heeeeeeeeeeeeey there, it's been some time since the last time I wrote anything here. Not that you might care, just wanted to set that straight. Well I could tell you the ins and outs of my life and what has been going on lately but that much isn't necesary. Fuck it, it's boring to most people. And since I'm writing for mainly for me (because there hardly is anybody that reads this) I'll just have fun here and there.

Last night, a close friend of mine (kudos to her) passed me this link to a flash animation. Now, I'm used to watch stupid funny flash animations. You know, the kind you find at newgrounds or in youtube when you're bored and clearly have nothing else to do. But what I saw...just imagine that near the end my brain kinda came. It was fucking brilliant. Like something really, really smart in that the whole thing was as simple as black letters on a white background and a jazz soundtrack. It's a poem called Lotus Blosom, the catch is that it dealt with what I now hold as a sacred art called Deconstruction. Deconstruction is basically graving a concept, shifting it's order and setting a new one in which there really is no star and end, but more likely an endless trail of images and/or words that at first might make no sense.

Jaques Derrida (surprinsingly, a french) gave this term to the world in the 60's and employed it to literature. I could explain what deconstruction is or isn't as said on wikipedia. Effortlesly, of course, since no matter how carefully I chose the words, I just couldn't explain it. It's one of those things you have to see for yourself. Besides, how does one explain something that has an inexisting order?

My first run into this technique was about 3 months ago when I saw the highly anticipated (to me) Deconstructing Harry. In my opinion, this is Woddy Allen's best fucking movie (Woody Allen writes, stars and directs this movie). In it, deconstruction is done throughout the movie that leads the viewer into a long series of analysis to the main character, and onto ourselves. After watching it, I pratically pranced around the house like a happy little bunny rabbit. It surprised the hell out of me, got my heart pumping in a verry weird way I couldn't describe. I can't, The same happened with the poem. It feels almost as if finding out something new and exciting. Like I said, makes your brain cum.

I know that sounds disgusting, but fuck you. How else would you describe it? Imagine watching a movie and getting a hold of so many abstract ideas and thoughts that start making you wonder half a dozen types of different shit. Shortly afterwards, I began smoking. I know how it sounds, don't jump into conclusions...judgemental pricks. The first time it's life changing. It fucks you up. It makes you wonder, act, react, think and more things I can't think of at the moment.

After you see something like this, you start judging and going about the external way of things. Fuck everything else. I know I did. Life's too fucked up, there isn't any other way of putting it. You visualize what is that which is really valuable. What is really important and such. That's why I fucking love this jewish son of a bitch, and yes in that "PUT YOUR BALLS IN MY MOUTH" kinda way. Probably not, but you never know. Woody is one more genius this sorry ass world will one day miss dearly. It is my mission to meet him before that happens.

Because not a lot of times in this life will you really feel something as distant as a movie, talk to you. It changes you.

It fucks you up.